Movies By Month: October 2011, part 2

The Last Exorcism:  2010 “found footage” horror film directed by Daniel Stamm and starring Patrick Fabian, Ashley Bell, Louis Herthum, and Caleb Landry Jones.  Reverend Cotton Marcus is a slick, charming preacher who used to perform exorcisms, and is now on a mission to debunk them.  He and his film crew travel to a remote area of Louisiana to document how he heals a supposedly possessed girl by tricking her with lights and sound effects and sleights of hand into thinking she’s being cured.  But could she actually be possessed?  And if not, can his smoke-and-mirrors routine help her?

          I liked this immediately.  It’s clever, and even though we’re all past the Blair Witch found footage crap I didn’t mind it at all.  It should be noted that I do not scare easily.  I jump in my seat now and then, but it takes a hell of a movie to really freak me out, and this definitely did.  Right up until the WTF ending, that is, which was so hokey and stupid it killed the mood that was so carefully set by the first hour and a half of the movie.  That being said, had it not taken that route, I would probably avoid rural areas and farms and woods and the dark for a long time.

What?  I do yoga.

Of Human Bondage:  1934 drama directed by John Cromwell and starring Bette Davis and Leslie Howard.  A medical student pines over a bratty waitress who uses him for his money.  But you can’t turn a ho into a housewife.  Davis’s cockney accent is terrible.  This movie was remade twice for reasons I don’t understand.  It was lame and I had little sympathy for the mopey main character.  Grow a spine, dude; she’s not even that cute.

The Descent 2:  2009 British horror film directed by Jon Harris and starring Shauna Macdonald, Gavan O’Herlihy, and Krysten Cummings.  Have you seen the first?  It’s much the same.  If not, spoiler alert!  A group of hikers has gone missing and the lone survivor has amnesia.  The hiking rescue team takes her back into the cave system and she’s like:  Oh yeah, there are totally creepy blind pale mutant people-things down here who killed all my friends, so we should probably get the frak out of here.  The ending was dumb, much like the first.  But it was all right.  Keep your expectations low if you liked the first movie and you might enjoy it.

Hisss:  2010 “movie” directed by Jennifer Chambers Lynch and starring Jeff Doucette, Malika Sherawat, Irrfan Khan, and Divya Dutta.  This guy has brain cancer and steals a snake-god’s mate to get this stone that’ll give him eternal life.  The snake god can take human form and she takes revenge on bad men who are mean to women or something.

          So . . . yeah.  It was campy beyond excuse, the special effects were terrible, and the acting was abysmal with the exceptions of Khan and Dutta.  I mostly want someone to watch it so we can discuss how ridiculous it is, but I can’t endorse you losing hours of your life on it either.

George Washington:  2000 drama directed by David Gordon Green and starring Candance Evanofski, Donald Holden, and Paul Schneider.  It’s mostly about a tragedy in a rural town in North Carolina, and kids wandering through abandoned buildings.  Criterion rarely steers me wrong, but it was plodding, the music was annoying (too loud, maybe?  Too insistent?), and the acting was a mixed bag.  I will give credit to Eddie Rause, who played an uncle of the main character.  He was great.  Skip it.

Hardcore:  1979 drama directed by Paul Schrader and starring George C. Scott, Peter Boyle, Ilah Davis, and Season Hubley.  Jake Van Dorne (Scott) is a religious single father and wealthy businessman in Grand Rapids, Michigan.  When his daughter disappears during a youth group trip to California and it seems she’s run off to be a porn star, he decides to track her down and bring her back home.  Because nothing is greater than the allure of mid-Michigan, folks.  I had a tough time committing to this one.  There’s really no explanation given for why she went so far astray.  She’s not just doing porn.  She’s in on the craziest, far-outiest shit there is.  I just didn’t buy that big of a leap with no details about her thoughts and feelings, what led to this.  The ending also felt unrealistic.  All that being said, Scott’s performance is out-freaking-standing.  So if you’re a big fan of George C. Scott, then see it.

Hairspray:  1988 comedy directed by John Waters and starring Ricki Lake, Divine, Debbie Harry, Sonny Bono, Jerry Stiller, Leslie Ann Powers, the list goes on.  It’s about zaftig women and giant hairdos and amazing clothes and interracial tensions and awesome music and cameos by Josh Charles and Ric Ocasek and DANCING.  You know I like the dancing.  I’m not ashamed to admit that I danced around my living room quite a bit while watching this movie.  It was adorable, in that very special Waters way.

Rewatch! The Pianist:  2002 biographical drama directed by Roman Polanski and starring Adrien Brody and many others (sorry, there are a lot of people with small to medium roles all of whom are equally important.  Too many to name).  Wladyslaw Szpilman is a famous pianist working for Warsaw Radio when Poland is invaded in 1939.  As the movie progresses we see the evolution of the lives of Warsaw’s Jewish population:  restrictions, armbands, relocations, camps.  I saw this in the theater and was sobbing by the end.  Then I read the memoir this is based on, and was again sobbing.  So it’s amazing, but prepare yourself for a cry.