Colombiana: 2011 French-American action film directed by Olivier Megaton and starring Zoe Saldana, Michael Vartan, Cliff Curtis, and Jordi Molla. Cataleya’s parents are killed by the Colombian drug lord they work for, she escapes, flees to the United States, and grows up to become a hit(wo)man who preys on the cartel that killed her family. IF you ignore the first 20 minutes or so when she’s a little girl, it’s pretty decent. The action is interesting and entertaining. And Saldana is great. But those opening sequences are rough. Like, no. I’m sorry. I realize that it’s an action movie, and certain things must be taken on faith in this genre, but it was almost laughable. Anyway, ignore that part, take it thoroughly salted, and it’s good.
Grizzly Man: 2005 Werner Herzog documentary. So you know what that means: endless accented yammering. Herzog’s blather aside, this movie is amazing. Timothy Treadwell spent 13 summers in Katmai National Park in Alaska, documenting his time spent with the grizzly bears he fought to protect. Then in 2003 he and his girlfriend Amie Huguenard were killed in a bear attack. Herzog uses Treadwell’s own footage as well as interviews with his friends, acquaintances, and animal experts (I would like to say yet again that I find the Interview Slow Zoom totally obnoxious). I thought he did a good job balancing the different viewpoints, from the detractors to the enthusiastic supporters. Treadwell may have had an inflated sense of self-satisfaction, may even have been delusional (crying over a dead bumblebee?), but it seems he meant well. Still. Dude spoke to animals like they could actually understand him--we all do this with our pets, but it’s weird with wild animals. I admit that I’m jealous of his friendship with a family of foxes. It’s filled with heartwarming, heart-wrenching, and prophetic scenes. Even if you think he’s crazy, it’s still worth watching. This is easily my favorite Herzog documentary, and you should definitely see it.
The Science of Sleep: 2006 fantasy comedy written and directed by Michael Gondry, and starring Gael Garcia Bernal and Charlotte Gainsbourg. Ah yes, the movie that launched a thousand shitty student art projects. Stephane is a dreamy young man who has a crush on his neighbor Stephanie, and since he apparently lacks plums, he works out his frustrations through his dreams. He reminded me of a guy who had a crush on me in high school, it made me uncomfortable. So maybe I’m a tad biased because of this, but even if I objectively put that aside, I still wasn’t impressed with it. And quick note, Charlotte Gainsbourg is a great actress, but I never like the movies she’s in. Granted, I haven’t seen that many, but you’re 0 for 2, Charlotte. WTF.
Red State: 2011 indie action/horror film directed by Kevin Smith (yes, that Kevin Smith) and starring Michael Parks, John Goodman, Melissa Leo, and Kyle Gallner. Three small town teenage boys answer an online in a chat room (yes, that kind of chat room), only to find themselves in the clutches of a Fred Phelps-ish preacher and his overzealous family, who are on a crusade to rid the world of sinners, one possibly gay person at a time. Meanwhile an ATF agent (Goodman) is setting up a sting outside the family church, and pretty soon it’s Waco 2.0. The acting by the main characters is fairly decent, especially Parks and George. She might have chewed the scenery here and there but I think her character called for it. It showed a lot of promise initially, was decently suspenseful and creepy right up until the climax, but all the air went out of it by the end.
The Bride: 1985 Frankenstein adaptation directed by Franc Roddam and starring Jennifer Beales and Sting. I repeat, Jennifer Beales and Sting. THIS MOVIE EXISTS. I very much wanted it to kick ass. I really did. I wanted it to be ludicrous, over the top, fantastically ‘80s. But the acting is terrible, the plot is boring and one-dimensional, and I had to turn it off after 45 minutes. I gave it a fair shake, but I could only take so much.
The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia: 2009 documentary directed by Julien Nitzberg and starring The White Family of Boone County, WV. Ugh. What was the point of this, exactly? Nitzberg follows this family around for a year as they fight and sell drugs and use drugs and scam the government and get released from prison and go back to prison and relive the days when they all used to be famous mountain dancers (apparently it’s some form of tap dancing). I ended up watching the entire thing mostly out of sick curiosity. I grew up around a few people like this. Well, minus the murdering. There were a few redeeming moments near the end revolving around Kirk White’s struggle to regain custody of her kids, but mostly the movie is a pointless glorification and reinforcement of white trash stereotypes. Watch Harlan County instead.
Beautiful Boy: 2010 drama directed by Shawn Ku and starring Michael Sheen and Maria Bello. Full review to follow in an upcoming post.
Touching the Void: 2003 documentary directed by Kevin MacDonald with dramatic reenactments starring Brendan Mackey, Nicholas Aaron, and Ollie Ryall. Joe Simpson and Simon Yates are the only mountain climbers ever to ascend the west face of the Siula Grande in Peru. Know why? SHIT IS DANGEROUS. I really don’t understand adrenaline junkies. In 1985, Simpson and Yates climbed the 20, 813 foot mountain face, and then had a doozy of a time on the way down. They’re caught in a storm, Simpson broke his leg, and Yates was forced to cut his connecting rope to Simpson in order to finish his descent. Crazy stuff happens in survival situations.
The film just jumps in with very little backstory. Who are these guys? Who’s that dude hanging out at basecamp? What’s their deal? The story is told through first person narratives and reenactments, which are surprisingly well done. It keeps you glued; you know they’ll survive because they’re being interviewed – duh – but it’s still riveting.
Winter’s Bone: 2010 indie drama directed by Debra Granick and starring Jennifer Lawrence, John Hawkes, and Garret Dillahunt. Ree Dolly (Lawrence) is already taking care of her younger brother and sister and catatonic mother when her meth-cooking dad disappears after using the house as collateral for bail. Ree has to track down her dad in order to save the house, which means going up against some seriously mean people in her rural Ozarks community. Oh, and she’s 17.
Several things: I need to learn survival skills. Possible Zombie Apocalypse aside, I am not gonna make it if I become destitute and need to live off squirrels in the woods. Also, I’ve started thinking about this movie when I’m about to commit a White Whine. Sorry that your favorite T-shirt has a hole in it, AJ, but have you recently had to teach your 6 year-old sister to hunt small game so she doesn’t starve if you get killed in a meth-related incident? Then shut up.
But seriously, on a personal note, this hit a little too close to home at times. Not necessarily in a bad way, but perhaps enough to color my opinion of it. I’ve known a Teardrop or two (that’s not me being maudlin; it’s the name of the character brilliantly portrayed by Hawkes). Lawrence is also awesome. I’m really looking forward to seeing what she does in The Hunger Games. So I thought it was great, but that could be my childhood talking.
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