50 Dead Men Walking: 2008 crime thriller directed by Kari Skogland and starring Jim Sturgess, Ben Kingsley, Rose McGowan and Natalie Press. In the 1980s during The Troubles, Martin McGartland is simultaneously recruited by the IRA and British Intelligence, and while he dislikes the tactics used by the police on the residents of his neighborhood, he dislikes the IRA even more. As a British informant he’s given a sense of purpose and money to support his family, far beyond what he could make on his own. As the movie builds to its climax his crisis of conscience becomes more dire, and he worries that he and his family will end up dead at the hands of one group or the other.
Apparently it’s full of stereotypes? If you’re really well-versed in Irish history then maybe it’ll bother you, but it didn’t bother me. Sturgess, Kingsley and Press are great. McGowan was completely miscast. I didn’t buy her Irishness for a second, and it annoyed me to the point of detracting from the rest of the movie. Overall it was pretty good. Very intense.
The Dark Crystal: 1982 Jim Henson fantasy Muppet film directed by Frank Oz. Do I even need to say what it’s about? I feel like I’m the last person on earth to have watched this movie. Creepy evil Muppets do battle with creepy good Muppets to save the world via a giant crystal. It was weird, it was fine. I might have liked it more had I seen it when I was a kid. Or it would have terrified me.
Prometheus: 2012 sci fi film directed by Ridley Scott and starring Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Guy Pearce, Idris Elba, Logan Marshall-Green and Charlize Theron. I’m pretty sure the less you know about it, the better. So all I’ll say is that an expedition of scientists travels to the far side of the universe to discover the origins of man, and things go awry. I’m ambivalent. It was certainly entertaining. The acting was stellar all around, which is pretty rare for an action movie. Fassbender, Theron and Rapace in particular just knocked it out of the park. But I didn’t understand the point of putting Pearce in makeup instead of just hiring an elderly actor. And there were plot holes everywhere, and a lot of DUH moments. At several points I really just wanted to yell at the screen, “Why are you doing that?!? You’re supposed to be scientists, goddamit! Use some common sense!”
It was very entertaining. Just watch it lightly salted.
Futurama: Bender’s Game: 2008 film that along with the other three films in this entry comprised Futurama’s fifth season. I’d never seen any of these before, and this was one of my favorites. If you’ve never watched Futurama, I weep for you. Also these movies won’t make much sense to you.
Leela and Fry become trapped in this weird alternate reality, sort of, based on Bender’s obsession with Dungeons & Dragons. It’s filled to the brim with nerdy references any Star Wars, LOTR and/or D&D fan would enjoy. I thought it was awesome, and if you’re a Futurama fan who missed these movies then definitely see it.
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| I roll TWENTIES. |
Futurama: The Beast with a Billion Backs: Yeah, I definitely watched these out of order. The Universe has been ripped open, and through it emerges a giant tentacle that attaches itself to Fry. Fry encourages his fellow Earthicans to accept the tentacle, and once this creature has its billions of tentacles attached to everyone on the planet, they all start dating the creature. Like, simultaneously. It’s pretty good.
Moonrise Kingdom: 2012 Wes Anderson film starring Bill Murray, Bruce Willis, Ed Norton, Frances McDormand, Jared Gilman and Kara Hayward, with brief appearances by Tilda Swinton, Jason Schwartzman and Harvey Keitel. Sam and Suzy are lonely preteen outsiders in 1965 New England who fall in love and run away together, sending the whole community on a search to bring them back home. It’s so freaking good. Granted, it’s Wes Anderson which means hipster-vintage-design porn, but if you’re into that kind of thing then this movie is for you. Maybe even if you’re not into it. It’s a cute story, the acting is a little slapdash but who cares, and it’s fun to watch. Norton, Willis and Murray are fantastic, and Schwartzman is hilarious in his small part. My only teensy tiny complaint was when this 12 year-old couple spoke frankly about an erection. Suspended the whimsy a bit, made it weird. But that’s the only hiccup in what is otherwise a really great movie.
I doubt Anderson will ever top The Royal Tenenbaums, but this is definitely #2 for me.
Futurama: Into the Wild Green Yonder: Fry develops telepathy, eco-feministas (guess who joins that group?) fight the construction of a giant space mini-golf course, and a being called The Dark One attempts to destroy the Universe. It’s okay.
The Elephant in the Living Room: 2011 documentary directed by Michael Webber, about exotic pet ownership in the United States. I know that sounds weird and potentially uninteresting. Hear me out. It centers around two men in Ohio: Tim is a police officer whose friend was killed by an exotic pet, and Terry is a former truck driver who’s struggling to care for his pair of lions. Interspersed with the stories of Tim and Terry are snippets of news coverage from all over the U.S. about exotic animal attacks and escapes. Tim sneaks hidden cameras into exotic pet expos, where we see a young boy holding his newly purchased baby alligator in a perforated Tupperware container, and people selling puff adders and mambas and hyenas—all perfectly legal. Terry is eventually reduced to housing his lions in a rusted horse trailer, and nearly comes to blows with Tim over their care. It’s a gut-twistingly sad story, and really compelling. Definitely see it.
Futurama: Bender’s Big Score: This was my least favorite of the four. Despite its reunion of all our favorite characters, it drags a bit, it's weird and convoluted, and the musical numbers are atrocious. I mean, if you’re going to watch them then you may as well watch them all, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.
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