Explorers: 1985 sci fi movie written by Eric Luke,
directed by Joe Dante, and starring Ethan Hawke, River Phoenix and Jason
Presson. Preteen science-fiction buff
Ben has been having vivid dreams about flying over a giant circuit board. He shares these nightly visions with his best
friend Wolfgang, a nerdly engineering genius who turns Ben’s dreams into
reality. With the help of a surly kid
named Darren they create a working flying saucer and set out to discover who –
or what – has been communicating with Ben in his sleep.
It started out strong but kind of
petered out by the end. I loved the
first hour or so when they’re building the spaceship and doing test runs and
figuring out their new friendship with Darren; but once they go on their first
real flight it really jumps the shark.
Hawke, Phoenix and Presson are adorable and do a great job with what
they were given. I just couldn’t stay
into it. Give it a shot if you run
across it on cable, maybe.
Room 237: 2012 documentary directed by Rodney Ascher,
about the potential hidden meaning of Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining. It interviews
fans of the horror movie about their theories regarding it – that it was about
the genocide of Native Americans, or the Holocaust, or Kubrick’s alleged
involvement with allegedly faking the alleged Apollo 11 moon landing.
Who cares. Honestly.
Watching this movie was like being trapped in an endless one-sided
conversation at a bad college party with someone who is really high. Yes, I can see that through your obsessive watching
of The Shining you’ve picked out a
few weird little tidbits and strung them together into a conspiracy theory . .
. and? So what? The only theory that seemed to have any,
like, purpose was the moon
landing. At least that was an indication
of an actual conspiracy. There was one
part where some guy laid two copies of the movie directly on top of each other
and screened it, first frame to last frame – because of Kubrick’s freakish
attention to symmetry it looked really cool.
That was the only redeeming scene for me. It was way too long, not that interesting,
and generally pointless – The Shining
is an amazing movie all on its own, why the need to look for more within it?
The Great Dictator: 1940 dramedy written, starring and directed
by Charlie Chaplin, with Paulette Goddard, Jack Oakie and Reginald
Gardiner. After The Barber was injured
during World War I he spent many years convalescing in a hospital with
amnesia. When he returns to his shop in
the Jewish ghetto of the fictional country Tomainia he is unaware that the
country has come under the control of ruthless fascist dictator Adenoid
Hynkel. Hynkel is masterminding a vast
plot to persecute the Jewish citizens of Tomania, form an alliance with the
dictator of Bacteria, and eventually to conquer the world. After some hilarious missteps and hijinks The
Barber joins the Resistance, and is aided by his striking resemblance to Hynkel
in gaining access to the ruler’s inner circle.
I absolutely loved this movie. It’s viciously witty, a brilliant combination
of sight gags and spoken humor, of silly and serious, of lighthearted and
devastating. This is Chaplin’s first
true “talkie,” after the release of the still mostly silent Modern Times in 1936. Apparently his inspiration came from studying
Leni Riefenstahl’s Triumph of the Will,
and it shows. Even if you have only a
basic knowledge of World War II history, you will be blown away by how
perfectly Chaplin skewers the Third Reich:
Hynkel’s mannerisms and the German-inspired gibberish language, the
buffoonery of supporting characters (Garbitsch = Goebbels, Herring = Goring,
Benzino Napaloni = Benito Mussolini) – it’s all so spot-on. At the time this was filmed little of the
world at large knew the full extent of the Nazi atrocities against Jews and
other minorities, and Chaplin later wrote that had he known he never would have
made this movie. Modern audiences know
what he didn’t, and so viewed now it has even more bite, and it’s easy to see
why it was so popular, and so successfully used as propaganda.
It’s spectacular, and worth
watching for the globe scene and the ending scene alone.
Bachelorette: 2012 dark comedy directed by Leslye Headland
and starring Kirsten Dunst, Lizzy Caplan, Isla Fisher, Rebel Wilson, Adam
Scott, James Marsden, and Kyle Bornheimer.
A trio of women in their early thirties reunites for the wedding of a
friend. To clarify: Regan the Bitter & Miserable, Gena the
Angry & Cruel, and Katie the High & Stupid reunite for the wedding of
Becky the “Fat.” The night of the
rehearsal dinner quickly turns sour after Gena publicly reveals the bride’s bulimic
past, the stripper they hired for Becky calls her “pigface,” and the wedding
dress gets ripped and bled on.
Awesome. Redemption time.
You will hate the first 30 minutes
or so if you’re not a sociopath. Like I HATED these women. It made me so angry that I stopped watching
it, but then I forced myself to go back to it.
I just couldn’t believe that so many actors I like would involve
themselves in something so irredeemably awful.
I picked up where I’d left off and by the end I actually loved it? All of these horrible people slowly start
acting more human and decent, they begin to redeem themselves and suddenly it’s
a quirky, fucked-up rom-com. You learn
why these bitches so cray. You see that
Becky needs Dunst to be awful. It all works out.
Approach it with caution, know that
you will hate the first half-hour. Stay with
it. Maybe watch it twice. It’s worth it once you come around.
Doomsday: 2008 sci fi thriller written and directed by
Neil Marshall and starring Rhona Mitra, Bob Hoskins, David O’Hara, and Craig
Conway. In 2008 the Reaper Virus rapidly
spreads across Scotland, turning its victims into savage, zombified killers. With no cure in sight, the British government
decides to wall off Scotland – essentially brick in the entire population and
leave them to die. Over the next few
decades the rest of the world cuts ties with the U.K. in response to this
atrocity, and the island degenerates under massive social unrest. When evidence of the Reaper Virus is
discovered in London, the brutal new regime orders a team into Scotland to find
a cure – because somehow there are still survivors.
Hahahaha what is this movie even? So, they cross the border because some guy
who had been developing a cure was left in the hot zone because why? And then all of a sudden it’s like Warriors
Beyond Thunderdome? But then it’s like
Medieval Times and also Malcolm McDowell is there? It’s idiotic, the music is hilarious, the
action is super gory and over the top and the plot has holes so large you could
drive your Mad Max off-road vehicle right through them, but whatever. I doubt I’d watch it again, but it was mildly
entertaining. Didn’t totally hate it.
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| Did you take my hairspray? |
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