Escape From Alcatraz: 1979
thriller directed by Don Siegel and starring Clint Eastwood, Fred Ward, Patrick
McGoohan and Larry Hankin. The movie is
based on a true story: Frank Morris is
sent to Alcatraz after successfully escaping from several other prisons. After a few months of witnessing the
vindictive cruelty of the warden, he decides to pull another daring escape attempt
with the help of a few friends.
It’s
like Shawshank without all the
sentiment and fine voice-over work.
Eastwood is a total badass, and Larry Hankin is great as the perhaps
cowardly but well-meaning Charlie Butts.
McGoohan overdoes it a bit as the warden – I mean, you half expect him
to start twirling a fake mustache in sinister glee – but it doesn’t distract
too much from the rest of the movie.
It’s a solid thriller and a great example of Eastwood’s mid-career
non-Western work.
Tremors: 1990 sci-fi horror comedy
directed by Ron Underwood and starring Kevin Bacon, Fred Ward, Finn Carter,
Michael Gross and Reba McEntire. Handymen
Val and Earl have had their fill of Perfection, a small former mining town in
Nevada. They hit the road to seek their
fortunes elsewhere, and happen upon a few dead bodies. What they first believe is a mass murderer
run amok turns out to be a giant burrowing worm creature. With the help of a local seismology grad
student, they must figure out how to save the surviving residents of Perfection
from total extinction.
It’s a cute, funny monster movie. Everyone is hilarious, particularly Gross and
McEntire as the survivalist couple – turns out it’s super handy to be buddies
with the well-armed in situations like these.
I was skeptical at first but it’s worth seeing when you’re in the mood
for something light and a little twisted.
The Thing: 1982 sci fi horror film
directed by John Carpenter and starring Kurt Russell, Wilford Brimley, Keith
David, and Donald Moffat. After a
strange and violent run-in with members of a Norwegian research team, an
American contingent on Antarctica goes to investigate the neighboring
outpost. There they discover a frozen
husk where the outpost used to be and the corpse of a vaguely human-looking
creature with two faces. One of the biologists determines that a dog the Norwegians had been trying to kill is actually an alien life form capable of
perfectly imitating whatever host it takes over – and suddenly it’s impossible
to tell who is really themselves, and who is an alien in disguise.
It’s
a really amazing scary movie and I’m annoyed with myself for not seeing it
sooner. It’s tense and it keeps you
guessing. Plus Kurt Russell couldn’t be
more bearded and manly if he tried – though seeing Wilford Brimley without a
giant mustache is weird and wrong.
Definitely see it.
Bernie: 2011 dark comedy mockumentary based on a real
Texas murder case, directed by Richard Linklater and starring Jack Black,
Shirley MacLaine and Matthew McConaughey.
Bernie Tiede is a cherished citizen of Carthage, a small town in
Texas: he’s the local assistant
mortician, active in the church, friends with pretty much everyone – including
the much-maligned widow Marjorie Nugent.
After her husband’s death, she and Bernie quickly become
inseparable. They travel together, lunch
together, do EVERYTHING together; to the point that Nugent’s near-abusive need
for attention consumes Bernie’s life.
One day Bernie snaps and kills Nugent, and once he’s found out it’s up
to the local district attorney to see that he’s convicted. Problem is, nearly everyone in town either believes
Bernie is innocent or thinks Nugent deserved what she got. Will sweet, lovable Bernie be punished for
his heinous crime?
I
liked the faux documentary approach a lot, I thought it worked really well. There was perhaps a little too much
exposition, but that’s the only flaw I found.
McLaine, Black and McConaughey are all spectacular. Definitely worth a try. Also, can I just say officially how pleased I
am with the evolution of McConaughey’s career?
I haven’t seen everything he’s been in since 2008, but what I have seen
I’ve been super impressed by. If you get
the chance, check out his interview with Terri Gross on Fresh Air, it’s pretty
adorable.
The Perfect Husband: The Laci Peterson Story: 2004 TV
movie based on the disapperance of Laci Peterson, starring Dean Cain, Sarah Brown,
Tracy Middendorf and Tom O’Brien. Just
shut up, OK? Yes, it is a made-for-TV
movie that aired on the USA Network.
Yes, it stars Dean Caine. Look,
it was on Netflix Instant and I wanted to watch something salacious and stupid
and that’s exactly what I got so don’t judge me.
Kuffs: 1992 action comedy directed by Bruce A. Evans
and starring Christian Slater, Tony Goldwyn, Milla Jovovich and Leon
Rippy. George Kuffs has just left his
pregnant girlfriend and hit his brother Brad up for a loan so he can mine for
gold in South America or some nonsense, when Brad is killed. In a freak display of responsibility he
decides to take over his brother’s Patrol Special police franchise, a civilian
auxiliary police force in San Francisco – I had no idea this was a real
thing. Anyway, George must keep his
brother’s business afloat, find his brother’s killer, play nice with the actual
police, and redeem himself to his ex-girlfriend. Slater is charming as ever and Goldwyn is
pretty great as the Straight Man, but the plot is ludicrous, there are all
these weird sound effects and the constant breaking of the Fourth Wall
is kind of overdone. I’d skip it, unless
you happen to catch it on TBS or something.
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| Why is there a dog? Why is he addressing the audience about the dog? What the hell is this movie? |
Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol: 2011
action film directed by Brad Bird and starring Tom Cruise, Jeremy Renner, Simon
Pegg and Paula Patton. Ethan Hunt
(Cruise) is a top agent for the IMF, a CIA-like agency working for the U.S.
government. His superiors send him and his
new team to the Kremlin to get info on a bad guy, codenamed “Cobalt.” When the Kremlin explodes during their
mission, the President activates a “Ghost Protocol,” which disavows the IMF but
secretly allows them to escape custody so they can hunt down Cobalt, who was
responsible for the attack. Now they’re
totally alone in the world with very few allies, and they’re being pursued by multiple
government agencies and Cobalt’s associates, all while trying to bring him down
before he starts a nuclear war.
As far as action movies go, it’s fairly solid. It’s perhaps a bit too long, and there are
definitely references to the earlier films in the franchise so it may help if
you’ve seen them, but I haven’t and didn’t find it difficult to keep up. Cruise and Patton are just kind of there, but
Renner and Pegg are fantastic and more than make up for the uneven acting of their
costars. Though, Renner’s character arc
is a little predictable because why would you put him in an action movie and
have him play a pencil pusher? Whatever,
he’s great. And I’d like to give a
little nod to Lea Seydoux, who played the assassin Moreau brilliantly.
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| So, these magic suction gloves are totally gonna work, right? |
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